I’m watching Hell’s Kitchen and I can’t stop laughing because Gordon Ramsay just called this girl a fucking biscuit then threw a piece of salmon at her and for the past 7 minutes she’s just been stood there looking at him like this
Last night I got up at 3 am to feed my cat. So I picked him up, noticed he was purring loudly, and thought in all seriousness:
"Very cat. Much purrs."
…then realized I may or may not spend too much time on this fucking website.
As your husband I feel I should inform you that you said that out loud.
OH MY GOD THAT’S EVEN WORSE
WAIT THERE ARW MARRIED COUPLES ON THIS WEBSITE!?
I had a dream where every person, at exactly midnight on new years following their 22nd birthday, they possessed the body of their soulmate and people ran around trying to figure out who they were so that they could find eachother, and they left notes for the body’s owner to find with their address. And there were some language gaps so people had to translate it and travel to different countries carrying the notes they were left, and it was great
write a book right now
makin my way downtown
faces pass and im homebound
What the actUAL FUCK AM I LOOKING AT JESUS CHRIST
if tamagotchis are seriously coming back next fall then I am fully prepared to be a 20 year old with twelve tamagotchis.
*[male presence intensifies]*